Category Archives: Nick Saban Has No Class

Nick Saban Hates Alabama Fans

Nick Saban isn’t sure where he is.

In one of his patented senile rants, good ole ‘Aint Nick bit the hand that feeds him, calling the Alabama fan base “self absorbed.” Why? He was butt hurt that real Alabama fans called him out for lucking his way to victory against an Arkansas team he should have blown out. The excuse train was in full throttle for the Aflac kid. “We’re going to get everybody’s best game. I don’t know why people can’t understand that.” The crybaby continued, “It’s not fair to our players that they get everybody’s best game.” He appeared near tears as he added, “Everybody wants to beat us.”

At this point, his senility kicked in. “We’re not happy to win a game anymore. We’re not happy to win a game at all.” What? I don’t think you should be admitting that, Nick. “I have too much respect for the other team.” He then doubled down. “I don’t care what kind of fan you are. Nobody wants to win.” Unfortunately, no one was there to take the microphone away, or at least give the poor guy a Namenda. So he continued by criticizing his own players. “They’re not perfect. They’re just college students.”

He tried to come back to his original point, before getting confused. “So for all you self-absorbed folks out there that can’t look past your own self to appreciate what other people are doing …” He paused for what seemed like an hour, and then he tried to order soup.

Can we please fire this guy before he wanders into the wrong locker room?

Nick Saban Has Coronavirus

Nick Saban Contracted Coronavirus After Eating Bat Soup in China

Nick Saban has contracted SARS-CoV-2, the virus that causes coronavirus disease (COVID-19), better known as the Chinese virus.

Saban tested positive for the virus after eating bat soup at a market in Wuhan, China last month while recruiting an assistant ball boy.

Thousands of University of Alabama students and staff are now under quarantine. Alabama football spring practice has been canceled.

It is likely that Saban will be directly responsible for dozens if not hundreds of deaths across the state of Alabama over the coming weeks. Stay safe out there. And stay away from Nick Saban.

Did you like this article? You’ll love our petition.

What the Tide has become under Saban…

As I tend to do on a somewhat regular basis I logged on to the internet this morning to see what was new with our beloved Tide. I typed “Tide” into the search engine as usual and what do I see? The first several stories that pop up on the results page are about how people are eating laundry detergent.

I want to see this                                                not this

 

Nick Saban has brought our program so far out of the national limelight that when you google the nickname of our beloved school you see stories about kids eating laundry detergent instead of meaningful information about the Alabama Crimson Tide. I’ll tell you one thing, this definitely never happened under Bear Bryant!

Daniel Tosh At It Again: Rifles Through Saban’s Bio

Recently one of our favorite comedians, Daniel Tosh, had the chance to sit down with a bunch of Auburn fans (5 year olds) and enlighten them with the biography of one of America’s most infamous founding fathers. George Washington? Thomas Jefferson? Benjamin Franklin, say ye? Neh. The biography twas none other than Nick Saban’s to which Tosh made some very compelling points on why we need to fire Saban. In particular, 3 points which we’ll let you see for yourself: Check out the video on Comedy Central.

Let’s Fire Nick!!! #RollTide

 

10 Unspeakable Atrocities Nick Saban Has Not Formally Denounced

Sure, Nick Saban has won a few football games over the years. He’s been moderately successful in January. But he’s displayed a sickening lack of character when it comes to speaking out against heinous acts taking place in the world today.

Below are 10 historical and current atrocities that Nick Saban that Saban is yet to formally condemn. Why the silence, Nick?

  1. Rwandan Genocide
  2. Rape of Belgium
  3. Holocaust
  4. Armenian Genocide
  5. Nanking Massacre
  6. Hegyeshalom Death March
  7. Diên Niên – Phước Bình massacre
  8. Black Saturday (Lebanese Civil War)
  9. Munich Massacre (1972 Olympics)
  10. Bear Bryant’s death

Nick Saban is a terrible human being

Everybody knows that Nick Saban has no loyalties except to money and has jumped around from team to team more often than the painted ladies by the docks jump from sailor to sailor. However, Saban also doesn’t care about his players, either! When he was coach of the Miami Dolphins, one of his players, Jeno James, began having a seizure. And what did good ol’ Saint Nick do? Attend to the young man? Call for help? No, sir. He just stepped over him and kept on walking. What a piece of shit!

Don’t just take my word for it, either. Here’s the account according to Heath Evans:

Well, the first day of two-a-days. We had about a three-hour-plus practice in the morning in that south Florida sun. You guys know what it’s like down there in late July, early August. And then that night we had another practice under the lights, if I recall I think it was about from 6 to 9.

Jeno James, our best offensive lineman at the time, comes in and collapses after practice, uh, vomiting all kinds of stuff that would make a billygoat puke, eyes rolled in the back of his head. Myself, about four other lineman are trying to carry him from the locker room, to the training room.

Obviously it’s a moment of panic, everyone, you know, we don’t know if this guy’s, you know, gonna die, I mean, the whole deal. But he’s so big and sweaty and heavy that we actually have to set him down in the hallway between the locker room and the training room.

Nick Saban literally just starts walking in, steps over Jeno James convulsing, doesn’t say a word, doesn’t try to help, goes upstairs, I don’t know what he does. But then obviously they get Jeno ‘trauma-offed’ to the hospital.

Saban calls a team meeting about 10:30 that night, comes down and says, ‘You know, the captain of the ship can never show fear or indecision, we’ve always gotta have an answer, and so I had to go upstairs, that’s why I walked over Geno like that, I had to collect my thoughts and decide what’s best for our team.’

And I’m thinking to myself, I think along with Jason Taylor and Zach Thomas and Yeremiah Bell and all these other guys going, ‘Did he, does he really believe what he’s just saying?’ He showed no human emotion for one of his best players.

Is this who you want taking care of your sons, Alabama? I didn’t think so, either. Fire this asshole!