Nick Saban Useless in Embarrassing Loss to Iona

Nick Saban caught selling out instead of helping Alabama avoid an embarrassing loss to no-name Iona.

In a result that could only surprise the biggest Nick Saban groupies, the Alabama Crimson Tide defense was porous, surrendering 72 points in a deflating loss to Iona. I have word from several anonymous sources that Nick Saban did not even prepare for today’s game. “Coach Saban at the Iona game? I don’t think he was even there,” said one source. Another source proclaimed, “Coach Saban was in no way involved” with the Iona game. There you have it! He wasn’t even at the game! He was probably too busy selling out and shooting another Aflac commercial. I’ve got news for you, Nicky — Aflac’s mascot is a duck. You’re in the wrong state, Nick! You like Oregon? I’ll bet you do. Oregon only surrendered 38 points to #16 Utah. That would be the ’85 Bears defense compared to the 72 you gave up to Iona. Quack quack, you hack.

13 thoughts on “Nick Saban Useless in Embarrassing Loss to Iona

  1. I was in High School. I spent afternoons at my best friend’s house. Her name is Cassie. We had been friends since basically birth. Cassie was smart, athletic and drop dead gorgeous. Why she hung around a chubby guy like me was mind boggling.

    It was a hot summer day, we were about to go swim in her pool. I was in the bathroom changing into my swimming suit. She burst in, scaring the shit out of me. Needless to say, I dropped my suit. There I stood, flaccid. Basically a microdick, my dickhead turtled up and disappeared. I was too stunned to cover up. She had the most surprised look on her face.

    “Is that it???” She asked, trying so hard not to laugh. I was nearly in tears with embarrassment. I nodded. She began to laugh. To my amazement, my dick began to stiffen. The head popped out, ready to play. Cassie noticed.

    “Are you getting hard?” She asked. I shrugged, not knowing what was happening. Why was her laughter getting me hard.

    “That’s the smallest dick I’ve ever seen!” Cassie said but she wasn’t looking at me… she was looking at my dick. It began to become erect. Fully hard I’m 3 inches. Flaccid I was under an inch. Cassie began to tell me how small I was. How her baby brother was bigger. All the while she was staring at my growing erection.

    “You like it when I tease you about your small dick?” She asked, finally looking at me. I realized how turned on i was. I nodded. She smiled. She grabbed my 3 inches in her hand and squeezed.

    “You have a tiny dick!” She said with a huge smile on her face, as she began stroking me. I didn’t last long. She laughed some more when I came in her hand, 43 seconds later.

    We’re still best friends. She changed my world that day. She changed my world again, not long afterward, but that’s a different story for a different day.


  2. The most direct involvement of the CIA that one can tie to Oswald is George de Mohrenshildt. Everything about the year in Dallas leading up to 11-22 indicates that de Mohrenshildt was guiding Oswald’s path, introducing him to Ruth Paine, who took in Marina and their child, allowed Oswald to use a garage, and arranged for the job at the book depository.

    De Mohrenshildt had worked for Prescott Bush, met HW Bush in the 1940’s, met Jacqueline Bouvier in the 1940’s, worked with William Buckley’s family in the 1950’s, and claimed that Oswald did not shoot JFK. De Mohrenshildt believed that Texas oil businessmen in conjunction with the CIA (same crew, really) executed the plan, and that he was used by the cabal to set Oswald up as a patsy.

    1. CIA was working with organized crime back when it was the OSS during WW2. Primarily to prevent espionage/sabotage being conducted through docks.

      This partnership continued much further and the CIA used their criminal contacts to conduct operations on home soil due to the provisions in the CIA’s inception. If you follow the events around Oswald, he was on the CIA’s radar due to his contact with the KGB. The operation of the actual assassination is similar to a lot of CIA assassinations during the Cold War, but all of the people who had any ties to the plot were either involved in espionage or organized crime at some level.

      This is just one of the times in American history where the curtain was thrown aside for a glimpse of how the world actually works.

      1. the parade route was approved by the USSS 11/16/63 and published in the newspaper Nov 21, 1963

        this route included the hard left turn from Houston onto Elm Street that caused the motorcade to practically stop in front of the TSBD, turn left and then proceed down the Hill to the freeway

        for security purposes, this route was a terrible choice as the Dal-Tex Building and the TSBD were right on top of the parade route and were unsecured by the USSS before the parade

        why would LHO be told beforehand he was going to be the patsy if he was indeed the patsy? I definitely believe he was a co-conspirator

        I believe LHO was a former CIA asset that was conveniently in the right place at the wrong time. He brought the gun to the TSBD that day (the curtain rods) for what he thought was someone else to use

        I believe JFK was shot at first with a .223 from the Dal-Tex Building, the bullet through the throat that caused him to reach for his neck

        I dont believe the Oswald rifle was even shot that day but was planted

        1. You’ll never get an official ruling on this. Just follow who benefited the most and the least from this exchange of power.

          You have two societies (USA/USSR) deadlocked in a cold war. Who benefits from this?

          Not you or I, and ultimately that understanding by two world leaders on both sides of the fence would have resulted in trillions of world currency not being directly funneled into the military machines of both sides.

          Two level-headed heads of state could have ended the Cold War.

          Fear of war is more effective than nuclear war at pilfering the publics coffers to embrace a lavish lifestyle for those on the take.

          1. If they were going the correct speed (20 mph) then LHO wouldn’t have had a shot at all.

            Since they didn’t but they driver decided to slow down after the first shot, because he thought a car backfired (?), LHO was able to even get more shots in

            Plus, how can you identify a person when half of his face is behind a scope and in the corner of a window?

            The fbi/cia knew who they were going to identify anyway – LHO might not have even been on the 6th floor – kind of ironic he gets a job at the depository just a few weeks before

          2. You wouldn’t need much to identify the suspect if they know off the top that the shooter was in TSBD.

            The Secret Service/FBI could have questioned everyone in the building that matches even the most general description of the shooter (hair color for example) and once they realized Oswald couldn’t alibi up, he would have been toast.

            Waiting for the motorcade to turn when the Secret Service agents didn’t have their eyes on the building and would have been confused at first as to where the shots were would have been smart then firing head on into the motorcade.

          3. A shot from directly behind Kennedy would have echoed off of the fence at the Grassy Knoll. As I said before, the sound stuff is nearly impossible to substantiate as far as I’m concerned. Unless you had good listening devices in Dealy Plaza when it happened, what it all sounded like to people freaking out having just witnessed the president’s head explode is something less than good evidence to me.

            I also think that the lack of a thorough forensic examination of the vehicle made ever finding out what actually happened a near impossibility. Now, supposedly LBJ ordered the vehicle cleaned and repaired almost immediately, but that could be conspiracy BS as well, but the fact remains that the vehicle never really went under a microscope.

          4. here is the funny thing about this bullet, it passed through a man’s back, then through a man’s throat, then it cracked a man’s rib, shattered a large adult male’s wrist and then embedded in his thigh.

            Then it “fell out” of Connelly’s thigh, out of his clothing and landed on a stretcher, but it wasnt knocked off when the patient was removed from the stretcher and it wasnt noticed by anyone in the ER either.

            it doesn’t have a scratch on it and looks strangely like a bullet a ballistics lab would fire into water to gather rifling evidence. The rifling on the bullet are an exact match to the rifle in the FBI’s hands. No question because the bullet is so “pristine” the evidence is clear on it

            just seems so strange when you think about it

          5. Multiple shooters.

            There was a strong concerted effort to coerce witnesses and doctors on their statements.

            My parents are 71 and they believe Lyndon B Johnson had him killed. The fact that everyone at the government level worked so diligently to get the word out that there was 1 shooter and the fact that his body was scooped up quickly and taken to a Navy hospital in VA/MD (If I remember correctly) and his autopsy was performed by fairly inexperienced military doctors…… All of it was intentional.

            All you have to do is watch the Zapruder film… he clearly gets hit in front and you can clearly see the exit / back of JFK’s head explode, as in the bullet is exiting.

            AND – the records were sealed. WHY? Every American should want to know the facts.

            If the average American doesn’t understand that our government has been feeding us disinformation and BS for generations…. let this be exhibit #1.

  3. Anyone knows where’s the best place to find dick size infographic/graphs? Used to be plenty of them before the tumblr purge. Reading through those really turn me on and i love accepting dodgy data as facts.

  4. Today my gf and me met with her sister and went for a walk. We just hang out a little bit and talked about some stuff. My girlfriend seemed a bit mad about me, because I talked pretty much with her sister and kinda bragged a bit. Her sister is really hot and even though my girlfriend knows I love her and I wouldn’t do anything with other girls especially not with her sister. But she seemed kinda jealous. So she decided to take revenge. She obviously knew that my cock isn’t the biggest and that it tends to shrivel up pretty fast when it’s cold like it was today. As I stand in front of her sister she stood right behind me and pulled my sweatpants and my boxers to the ground. I felt a fresh breeze around my dick and could tell that it was shrunk to its minimum (~1.5″). Her sister looked right down to my crotch and covered her mouth with her hands bursting into laughter. She said ‘I know that you are small, my sister told me, but I didn’t think it was soo tiny. I can barely see it! Just looks like it is not a real cock, yet…’

    I wasn’t sure what was more terrifying. That she saw my small dick or that my gf told her that I’m small. I asked who she told about my small dick and she just said ‘Oh, just my sister and some of my friends obviously…’


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