Nick Saban Useless in Embarrassing Loss to Iona

Nick Saban caught selling out instead of helping Alabama avoid an embarrassing loss to no-name Iona.

In a result that could only surprise the biggest Nick Saban groupies, the Alabama Crimson Tide defense was porous, surrendering 72 points in a deflating loss to Iona. I have word from several anonymous sources that Nick Saban did not even prepare for today’s game. “Coach Saban at the Iona game? I don’t think he was even there,” said one source. Another source proclaimed, “Coach Saban was in no way involved” with the Iona game. There you have it! He wasn’t even at the game! He was probably too busy selling out and shooting another Aflac commercial. I’ve got news for you, Nicky — Aflac’s mascot is a duck. You’re in the wrong state, Nick! You like Oregon? I’ll bet you do. Oregon only surrendered 38 points to #16 Utah. That would be the ’85 Bears defense compared to the 72 you gave up to Iona. Quack quack, you hack.

One thought on “Nick Saban Useless in Embarrassing Loss to Iona

  1. I was in High School. I spent afternoons at my best friend’s house. Her name is Cassie. We had been friends since basically birth. Cassie was smart, athletic and drop dead gorgeous. Why she hung around a chubby guy like me was mind boggling.

    It was a hot summer day, we were about to go swim in her pool. I was in the bathroom changing into my swimming suit. She burst in, scaring the shit out of me. Needless to say, I dropped my suit. There I stood, flaccid. Basically a microdick, my dickhead turtled up and disappeared. I was too stunned to cover up. She had the most surprised look on her face.

    “Is that it???” She asked, trying so hard not to laugh. I was nearly in tears with embarrassment. I nodded. She began to laugh. To my amazement, my dick began to stiffen. The head popped out, ready to play. Cassie noticed.

    “Are you getting hard?” She asked. I shrugged, not knowing what was happening. Why was her laughter getting me hard.

    “That’s the smallest dick I’ve ever seen!” Cassie said but she wasn’t looking at me… she was looking at my dick. It began to become erect. Fully hard I’m 3 inches. Flaccid I was under an inch. Cassie began to tell me how small I was. How her baby brother was bigger. All the while she was staring at my growing erection.

    “You like it when I tease you about your small dick?” She asked, finally looking at me. I realized how turned on i was. I nodded. She smiled. She grabbed my 3 inches in her hand and squeezed.

    “You have a tiny dick!” She said with a huge smile on her face, as she began stroking me. I didn’t last long. She laughed some more when I came in her hand, 43 seconds later.

    We’re still best friends. She changed my world that day. She changed my world again, not long afterward, but that’s a different story for a different day.


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