Nick Saban has contracted SARS-CoV-2, the virus that causes coronavirus disease (COVID-19), better known as the Chinese virus.
Saban tested positive for the virus after eating bat soup at a market in Wuhan, China last month while recruiting an assistant ball boy.
Thousands of University of Alabama students and staff are now under quarantine. Alabama football spring practice has been canceled.
It is likely that Saban will be directly responsible for dozens if not hundreds of deaths across the state of Alabama over the coming weeks. Stay safe out there. And stay away from Nick Saban.
Did you like this article? You’ll love our petition.
Over 500 signatures have been added to the petition since the 46-41 debacle against LSU.
The sad truth is this: Nick Saban chokes in big games. He’s gotta go. Get him the hell outta here!
Make your voice heard. Sign the petition today. Fire Nick Saban!
And I’m not even making that up… Notre Freaking Lame played Clemson tougher than Saban’s Alabama squad did in the national championship game.
Tonight, Saban was the cause of Alabama’s biggest blowout defeat in over a decade!
Let that sink in.
Saban took a 16-14 lead and then was outscored 30-0 to end the game.
Thirty. To. Zero.
Time to fire this clown. Sign the petition now!
C’mon Nick! Quit shaving points!
Sure, he can edge teams like Fresno State, Vanderbilt, and Mercer.
But put him up against a real ball club like Auburn… he got no chance!
Seems that Parkway High School in Bossier City, Louisiana has a NO D-BAG rule, and Nick Saban is in clear violation of that rule. Good for them!
And now… back by popular demand (following up on our earlier article from 2013), here are 14 more pictures of Nick Saban looking like a d-bag…
Nick, how about a trigger warning next time you put on a penis hat?
Nick is trying to figure out if this qualifies as a date or not.
Nick on Bourbon Street after getting escorted out of Rick’s Cabaret at 2 a.m.
Grandpa called. He wants his glasses back.
Grandma called. She wants her glasses back.
Gangsta, Nick. Total gangsta.
Nick actually thinks he’s the Fonz.
Maybe put a little more gel in your hair next time, Nick.
D-bag meets Super D-bag.
Wink once if you think Nick is a d-bag.
Nick practicing his favorite “between-the-sheets” act.
This week at Cotillion by Nick: Proper sitting form for young women.
Thanks to Nick Saban, Alabama is winless at 0-1 in 2017.
The following FBS teams all have better records in 2017 than Nick Saban.
Air Force 0-0
Appalachian State 0-0
Arizona State 0-0
Arkansas State 0-0
Army West Point 0-0
Ball State 0-0
Boise State 0-0
Boston College 0-0
Bowling Green 0-0
Central Michigan 0-0
Colorado State 0-0
Eastern Michigan 0-0
East Carolina 0-0
Florida Atlantic 0-0
Florida State 0-0
Fresno State 0-0
Georgia Southern 0-0
Georgia State 0-0
Georgia Tech 0-0
Iowa State 0-0
Kansas State 0-0
Kent State 0-0
Louisiana Tech 0-0
Miami (FL) 0-0
Miami (OH) 0-0
Michigan State 0-0
Middle Tennessee 0-0
Ole Miss 0-0
Mississippi State 0-0
New Mexico 0-0
New Mexico State 0-0
North Carolina 0-0
NC State 0-0
North Texas 0-0
Notre Dame 0-0
Ohio State 0-0
Oklahoma State 0-0
Old Dominion 0-0
Oregon State 0-0
San Diego State 0-0
San Jose State 0-0
South Alabama 0-0
South Carolina 0-0
South Florida 0-0
Southern Miss 0-0
Texas A&M 0-0
Texas State 0-0
Texas Tech 0-0
Utah State 0-0
Virginia Tech 0-0
Wake Forest 0-0
Washington State 0-0
West Virginia 0-0
Western Kentucky 0-0
Nice coaching, Nick! Now GTFO.
Here is a complete list of every team that won their final postseason game this season…
San Diego State
Appalachian State (Yeah, seriously… App Fuckin’ State)
Old Dominion (I couldn’t even make this up)
Army (yeah, even Army… what year is this? 1946?)
Kansas State (their coach even older than Saban!)
Air Force (yet another service academy)
You know who didn’t win their final game of the season? NICK SABAN!