Category Archives: Nick Saban Has No Class

Daniel Tosh At It Again: Rifles Through Saban’s Bio

Recently one of our favorite comedians, Daniel Tosh, had the chance to sit down with a bunch of Auburn fans (5 year olds) and enlighten them with the biography of one of America’s most infamous founding fathers. George Washington? Thomas Jefferson? Benjamin Franklin, say ye? Neh. The biography twas none other than Nick Saban’s to which Tosh made some very compelling points on why we need to fire Saban. In particular, 3 points which we’ll let you see for yourself: Check out the video on Comedy Central.

Let’s Fire Nick!!! #RollTide

 

10 Unspeakable Atrocities Nick Saban Has Not Formally Denounced

Sure, Nick Saban has won a few football games over the years. He’s been moderately successful in January. But he’s displayed a sickening lack of character when it comes to speaking out against heinous acts taking place in the world today.

Below are 10 historical and current atrocities that Nick Saban that Saban is yet to formally condemn. Why the silence, Nick?

  1. Rwandan Genocide
  2. Rape of Belgium
  3. Holocaust
  4. Armenian Genocide
  5. Nanking Massacre
  6. Hegyeshalom Death March
  7. Diên Niên – Phước Bình massacre
  8. Black Saturday (Lebanese Civil War)
  9. Munich Massacre (1972 Olympics)
  10. Bear Bryant’s death

Hey, Nick: Would You Like Some Cheese With Your Whine?

So Nick Saban is pissed off that people are disappointed that the Tide only beat lowly Arkansas, 14-13. This guy really grinds my gears. Continue reading

Nick Saban is a terrible human being

Everybody knows that Nick Saban has no loyalties except to money and has jumped around from team to team more often than the painted ladies by the docks jump from sailor to sailor. However, Saban also doesn’t care about his players, either! When he was coach of the Miami Dolphins, one of his players, Jeno James, began having a seizure. And what did good ol’ Saint Nick do? Attend to the young man? Call for help? No, sir. He just stepped over him and kept on walking. What a piece of shit!

Don’t just take my word for it, either. Here’s the account according to Heath Evans:

Well, the first day of two-a-days. We had about a three-hour-plus practice in the morning in that south Florida sun. You guys know what it’s like down there in late July, early August. And then that night we had another practice under the lights, if I recall I think it was about from 6 to 9.

Jeno James, our best offensive lineman at the time, comes in and collapses after practice, uh, vomiting all kinds of stuff that would make a billygoat puke, eyes rolled in the back of his head. Myself, about four other lineman are trying to carry him from the locker room, to the training room.

Obviously it’s a moment of panic, everyone, you know, we don’t know if this guy’s, you know, gonna die, I mean, the whole deal. But he’s so big and sweaty and heavy that we actually have to set him down in the hallway between the locker room and the training room.

Nick Saban literally just starts walking in, steps over Jeno James convulsing, doesn’t say a word, doesn’t try to help, goes upstairs, I don’t know what he does. But then obviously they get Jeno ‘trauma-offed’ to the hospital.

Saban calls a team meeting about 10:30 that night, comes down and says, ‘You know, the captain of the ship can never show fear or indecision, we’ve always gotta have an answer, and so I had to go upstairs, that’s why I walked over Geno like that, I had to collect my thoughts and decide what’s best for our team.’

And I’m thinking to myself, I think along with Jason Taylor and Zach Thomas and Yeremiah Bell and all these other guys going, ‘Did he, does he really believe what he’s just saying?’ He showed no human emotion for one of his best players.

Is this who you want taking care of your sons, Alabama? I didn’t think so, either. Fire this asshole!

Nick Saban Has Blood on His Hands

File this one under “this is why everyone hates Bama fans.”

A Birmingham woman is charged with killing another woman following last week’s Iron Bowl gong show. The shooter reportedly went on a rampage “when she saw the sisters and others joking that the Crimson Tide’s loss wasn’t as bad as if the NBA’s Miami Heat had lost a game.” Continue reading

Would you trade a championship for eternal damnation?

As a parent I know that I want my daughter to grow up to lead a virtuous and moral life.  Unfortunately, those values don’t carry quite as much weight with the Head Football Coach at the University of Alabama.  As this recent article published by GQ magazine clearly demonstrates Nick Saban has  a reputation for being the devil. Continue reading

Lie to Me Once, Shame on You…

There is no shame in being bald, we all know that it is a genetic trait passed down from your mother’s father. That is all of us except Nick Saban. We are breaking the story here that the reason Nick Saban is always seen with what appears to be perfect looking hair is because its not his! That’s right, the image below definitively proves that Nick Saban suffers from male pattern baldness and has been wearing a toupee and lying about it ever since he broke into the college ranks. Continue reading

For the Love of Money

Now we all know that college football and money are like oil and water. Best served separately, behind closed doors, and preferably out of the way of the media. But when it comes to luring recruits to play football at Alabama, why hide the fact that by joining the school’s elite football program you will have access to contracts you wouldn’t have even imagined if you had gone to play for Azusa Pacific or Grand Valley State. After all, if 3 championships in the last 4 years and a slew of pot won’t help seal the deal, then the other leafy green surely will, right?

That’s the most recent tactic that Saban and the football administration down at Bama has taken, but oh so gracefully. Sure, they aren’t offering signing bonuses or fanciful cars, but just have a look at what they do offer: Continue reading

Nick Saban Being a Jerk

In case you haven’t seen it, the good folks over at Midwest Sports Fans put together a compilation of Nick Saban stepping over things he has no business stepping over.

I must have missed the time he stepped over injured Rutgers player Eric LeGrand: Continue reading